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Anerkendelse- Ja tak !

Dato:March 29, 2016

Forfatter:Henriette Boysen

Kategori:Uncategorized

Del: / /

Anerkendelse – Ja tak !

 De seneste årtiers psykologi og menneskesyn har i høj grad efterstræbt at vi mennesker skal kunne stå selv. Altså at kunne finde vores eget værd i os selv, for på den måde at gøre os fri af behovet for ros og anerkendelse fra andre mennesker. Det er næsten sådan, at jo mere vi tror på os selv og kan undvære andres positive ytringer, jo bedre.

Ok, det er nok sat på spidsen, men min erfaring er at tendensen har været tungtvejende, bl.a. for de klienter jeg dagligt møder i min praksis.

Ikke så sjældent skammer mennesker sig over at de har brug for andres anerkendelse og ros. Udsagn som, ” Ikke fordi jeg har brug for ros ” , ” det er jo ikke hans opgave at jeg skal føle mig god nok ” eller ” jeg tror jeg har et dårligt selvværd, fordi jeg har brug for andres anerkendelse ”,er almindelig tale i dagens Danmark.

Personligt kender jeg godt til at have brug for anerkendelse fra særlige betydningsfulde relationer, det være sig i privatlivet og i arbejdssammenhænge. Og jeg kender til at have en indre dialog om at det nok ikke er Ok, og at jeg selv burde vide om min indsats er god nok. Pludselig bliver det forkert at have brug for et klap på skulderen eller et varmt rosende ord, efter en endt arbejdsopgave. Jeg burde jo ikke have brug for det, jeg skal jo bære min egen værdi.

Virkeligheden er at vi alle har brug for ros og anerkendelse. Den nyeste forskning understreger at vi danner vores personlighed i relation med andre mennesker, altså i det spejl de giver os. Vi har alle brug for at blive valideret og i sidste ende føle os dygtige og betydningsfulde. Det giver os sinds-næring og får os til at vokse, til glæde for os selv og andre.

Alt fungere bedst i balance, og det gælder naturligvis også dette emne. Undertiden udstyrer barndom og liv os ikke med et ønskværdigt selvværd, og der kan være en uvurderlig gevinst i at finde sine egne betydningsfulde ben. Det er bare ikke alene den selvransagende proces der bidrager til selvværd og selvtillid.

Det er trist at skamme sig over vi har brug for ros og anerkendelse fra hinanden. Vi glemmer at vi kan gøre hinanden gensidigt betydningsfulde, i frygten for at være gensidigt afhængige. Vi er uundgåeligt afhængige af hinanden og kan gensidigt bidrage til at vi hver især vokser. Også uden at behovet for validering bliver til en tung møllesten, for den der validerer.

Kærlige tanker til jer dejlige skønne mennesker.

Henriette Boysen

 

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